Morning shine

The night time fears vanish with the rising sun, the voices quiet down. All the bad that can happen to a person is what my mind tells me can happen to me, that I can wake to a different reality. Now I am in between that horrid fear and the breath of relief that comes in the morning. I did not sleep last night. Too much going on. Real fears of not waking in time to get our sick puppy to the vet. Throw on the fear of leaving the house and I don’t know whether to just hop in bed now that the sun is out and push out the day or power through. My mind is a terrible place to be after midnight.

July 12- I can’t forget..

Today is the day I lost my Dad many years ago. 13 to be exact. I will call my Mom today and my sister because they were there that night too. We all share the memory of his death. He took his life with his Colt 45, my sister and I had to clean up the mess he left behind. Depression sucks. also, being a white male wasn’t good for him as far as getting medical help. He had titanitus (spelling?), a ringing in his ears that drove him mad amongst other stuff and no one knew what that was then. But no matter, he’s gone, were left behind and I’m hoping that where ever he is its not hell. And I will light a candle for him today and try to forget the bad stuff and remember the good. Rest in Peace if you can. You are loved.

Enjoying being home

Back home and happy to be here. I will start by saying I have no connection at home to post my blog stuff so I do this while I’m out. My husband and daughter are inside walmart getting stuff we need so I am parked close to McDonalds and borrowing their much loved wi fi.

My daughter is officially enrolled in school and I am so proud. And my grandaughter is amazing and smart and the cutest baby ever.

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I have an upstairs room with 2 smoke detectors close by. I never thought I would choose willingly to stay upstairs but I like it. There are 3 rms upstairs and 2 downstairs. Its so weird to finally be back here. 2 yrs in Florida was enough. Way too hot. My car has been back and forth so many times now. Buick le sabre is a solid car. Not sorry I got her. I guess that’s all for now. Till next time….

The most horrible child ever

I don’t have a good internet connection, though McDonalds is only 6 blocks away so I can upload my posts there as needed.

Onto this kid. My daughter had her little cousin here. She is ten and she stayed for about a week. I have never met a meaner child. I tried to engage her in fun stuff. And talk to her about her attitude and stuff but I guess it didn’t sink in. As she was leaving she stole 50 dollars off my night stand and cigarrettes, lighters (from a roomate), knives (3 of them) and a bunch of my grand babies stuff. I think she managed to get something from everyone. Good thing we caught her before she left with the stuff. She won’t be allowed back. And I will be and have been Praying for her. I’m just still in shock.